Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples
How It Helps Heal and Reconnect
Many couples struggle with painful patterns of conflict, distance, or disconnection. You may feel like you're having the same argument over and over, or like you're walking on eggshells, unsure how to reach each other anymore. Underneath the frustration, there is often hurt, loneliness, and the longing to feel close again.
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT-C) was originally developed by Drs. Leslie Greenberg and Sue Johnson to help couples move beyond conflict and strengthen emotional bonds. Drs. Greenberg and Rhonda Goldman have since expanded the model incorporating additional focus on identity, emotional regulation, and relational dynamics.
EFT for couples is a research-based, structured approach that helps partners move out of stuck patterns and rebuild emotional closeness. By focusing on the emotions and needs that often lie beneath conflict, EFT supports couples in creating new patterns of safety, connection, and understanding.
Why Do Couples Get Stuck?
In close relationships, emotions run deep. When we feel vulnerable—afraid of rejection, hurt by disconnection, or unsure if our needs are safe to share—we often protect ourselves. This protection can look like:
Withdrawal
Criticism
Shutting down
Escalating arguments
Over time, these protective moves form cycles that pull couples further apart. Each person may feel unseen, unheard, or alone—even when both still care deeply.
EFT helps couples move beneath these reactive patterns to explore the emotions driving them. By slowing down and creating space for vulnerable emotions, partners can begin to truly see and respond to one another in new ways.
How EFT Works
EFT for couples doesn’t focus on who’s “right” or “wrong.” Instead, it helps partners:
Understand the negative cycle they’re caught in
Identify the emotions and needs underlying conflict
Express vulnerable emotions in ways that invite comfort and care
Develop empathy and responsiveness toward one another
Rebuild trust, emotional safety, and secure connection
Through this process, many couples experience a renewed sense of closeness—not just better communication, but a stronger emotional bond.
What to Expect in an EFT Couples Session
In EFT sessions, we begin by identifying the negative interaction patterns that keep you stuck. These patterns are not about fault, but about protection—how each partner tries, often unsuccessfully, to feel safe or heard.
As therapy progresses, we gently access the deeper emotions underneath these patterns: sadness, fear of loss, shame, loneliness, or longing for closeness. Partners learn to share these experiences in ways that invite understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Throughout the process, you are supported in expressing these emotions safely, and in responding to one another with care. Over time, this helps create new, more secure emotional experiences—often leading to greater intimacy, trust, and connection.
Who Can Benefit?
Emotion-Focused Therapy can help couples facing:
Frequent arguments or escalating conflicts
Emotional distance or disconnection
Repeated patterns of criticism and withdrawal
Trust injuries or relational wounds
Fear of rejection or abandonment
Difficulty expressing emotions or needs
Whether you are navigating long-standing challenges or new stressors in your relationship, EFT provides a supportive space to explore, heal, and reconnect.
Ready to Take the First Step?
If you and your partner are feeling stuck, disconnected, or uncertain about how to move forward, Emotion-Focused Therapy can help.
I offer EFT for couples to support you in rebuilding trust, deepening emotional connection, and creating a more secure, fulfilling partnership. If you’d like to learn more or take the next step, I invite you to reach out. Let’s explore what’s possible — together.
Reconnecting as a couple sometimes starts with reconnecting to yourself. If you’re curious how Emotion-Focused Therapy can support individual healing and emotional growth, learn more about EFT for individuals here.
